Tales of Men's Shirts, Part the Last.

Major Dennis Bloodnok:  Lecherous coward with an extremely dubious sense of morality and an

overwhelming love of money.  Also loves curries, the hotter the better. The only reason he isn’t fat is

because he knows that being able to run away very fast is a good thing.  All those angry husbands, 

you know.

(Burglary - 4) (Athletics - 3) (Stealth - 3)

To say that Bloodnok was not happy with Bluebottle was an understatement.  He sent the lad down to 

help Seagoon after he had reported his failure, and then cursed.  He was going to have to go in 

himself that night, and do the damned job himself.

He prepared himself carefully - dark clothes, lock-picking and safe-cracking equipment, good pair of 

running shoes, and a spy camera.

Combat: Stealth.  If Bloodnok wins, he makes it into the office undetected and gains access to the 

company’s staffing records.  If he loses, the guards catch him.

Number of dice per round	Bloodnok	Enemy
1. (B3, E2)	13	6
2. (B3, E1)	13	2

Winner: Bloodnok.

Carefully, he took photos of the staffing documents, and searched for the records that gave the formula

for the chemicals used to treat the shirts.  It quickly became clear that they did not keep those records

where any old Dennis could get his hands on them. They had to be in the safe.

Combat: Burglary.  If Bloodnok wins, he gets into the safe.  If he loses, he doesn’t and has to make do

with what he’s got.

Number of dice per round	Bloodnok	Enemy
1. (B4, E3)	10	15
2. (B3, E3)	13	14
3. (B2, E3)	4	16
4. (B1, E3)	3	12

Winner: The Safe.

Grimly, seething with himself for his failure with the safe, he secured his camera and left the building.

He had just got outside the fence when the curry he had had for dinner earlier that evening finally 

caught up with him, and he farted.  Loudly. There was no way the security guards could fail to hear 

the way it echoed around the building. “Right,” Bloodnok told himself.  “No more curried egg for you.”

Then he heard running feet, and ran for it himself.

Combat: Athletics.  Just like the last athletics contest, really.

Number of dice per round	Bloodnok	Enemy
1. (B3, E2)	10	6
2. (B3, E1)	8	5

Winner: Bloodnok.  And after two failures, those guards ought to be replaced!

Bloodnok counted himself lucky as he escaped the guards with ease that his digestive system withheld

any further eructions until he was safely away.  When he got home, though, it really let rip, until he was

forced to stumble back outside again. “What the hell went into that curry?” he asked himself.  “Tear 

gas? It’s worse than the shirts!”

The next day, he went into work and got the film developed.

GM question: do the people who look after the records get anything useful out of it?  Yes and.

The investigation went smoothly from there on in.  A suspected German spy was located amongst the 

factory employees.  The spy was arrested and subsequently confessed.

One last combat, just to tie up the last loose end:
Combat: Science.  Does Seagoon manage to figure out how to turn the exploding shirts into a bomb?

Number of dice per round	Seagoon	Enemy
1. (S3, E3)	14	10
2. (S3, E2)	7	9
3. (S2, E2)	5	3
4. (S2, E1)	5	5
5. (S2, E1)	3	3
6. (S2, E1)	12	4

Winner: Seagoon.  The shirts bomb gets dropped on Germany.

Well, I guess that’s it.  Unless I can think of anything further to add.  The Goons had a couple of happy

endings for this episode: #1 involved them being rescued from Germany by the American Cavalry (I 

was never sure why they had to go to Germany for this adventure, BTW, which is why mine stayed in

London.).  #2 involved Neddie Seagoon going back and proposing to his girlfriend Cynthia with lots of

romantic background music and an elephant joke.